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A Message To The DDoSer...

xBlastFTPastx

xBlastFTPastx

I asked ChatGPT to re-write "Stan" by Eminem for me. We are truly living in the future:

Verse 1:
Dear Banzore, I logged in but you still ain't callin'
I left my game ID, my ping, and my account, all at the bottom
I sent two messages back in autumn, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem at the server's end or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, f*** it, what's been up, man? How's your game been?
I read about your new patch too, I'm kinda jealous
I hope you get rid of the lag, and I hope the frame rate's not hellish
If you didn't want to play with me outside your squad
I guess you still could've given me a heads-up, dawg
That's my fault, I guess, I know you miss me
But that DDoS jerk’s been messin' with the server and it ain't pretty
So I'm just sittin' here, waitin' to hear your response
While I keep seeing my game crash over and over in a haunt

Chorus:
(You don't gotta put on the server for me)
You don't gotta keep the ping low, but don’t let it be
(You don’t gotta hit me back)
Just hit me when the game’s back up, let me know that it’s alright

Verse 2:
Dear Banzore, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your servers were fine, but they're down and lookin' gritty
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I know you're tired of the DDoS, it’s part of some plan
I’m more concerned with the fact that I'm constantly bein' booted
I don't know if you can fix it or if it’s something that’s rooted
But this jerk keeps messin' with our playtime and it ain't cool
You got to catch this guy who’s clearly breaking all the rules
I read about your new mods, I think that they’re great
But if we can’t play because of this, it’s makin’ me irate
Sometimes I think it’s funny when I see the server lag
But now I'm just frustrated, can't even get a frag

Chorus

Verse 3:
Dear Mister DDoSer, I’m writing you now
You ruined my game time, yeah, that’s not allowed
I see you sittin' there laughin' while the servers are fried
But now you're just making enemies on the other side
You think it's fun to crash the servers, messin' with our fun?
But all you’re really doin' is makin' us unite as one
We're sick of your antics and your childish, petty games
All you’re gonna get is hate and a lot of online flames
So I’m beggin' you to stop, or you'll regret this day
‘Cause we’ve got a whole squad ready to come your way
And when we catch you, trust me, it won’t be pretty
Just fix your act, man, and stop messin' with our city (Shanghai)

Chorus
 
xBlastFTPastx

xBlastFTPastx

Here's a Seinfeld scene, I think I am developing an addiction...

**Title: "The Troll Toll"**

**INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY**

*Jerry is on his couch, gaming headset on, furiously clicking his mouse. George bursts through the door, looking flustered.*

**GEORGE:** Jerry! Jerry! I’m getting absolutely decimated in Battlefield 4. It’s like my team’s playing with their hands tied behind their backs.

**JERRY:** (pausing the game) That’s because they are. It’s not a fair fight anymore. Russian trolls are DDosing the servers.

**GEORGE:** (confused) DDosing? What is this, a new kind of coffee?

**JERRY:** No, George. DDOSing. It’s like sending a flood of fake traffic to crash the server. It’s like if you invited everyone you knew to a party and then told them there’s no room left.

**GEORGE:** (sighing) Well, that sounds like my dating life. How do you fight something like that?

**JERRY:** You don’t. You just wait for it to pass. It’s like waiting for a storm to blow over. Except this storm comes with Cyrillic characters and bad attitude.

**GEORGE:** (sits down next to Jerry) So, what do I do? I’m on a losing streak. My K/D ratio’s in the toilet.

**JERRY:** (shakes head) You know what you need? A new game. Get out of the Battlefield and into something where the only trolls are the ones who try to sell you fake magic beans.

**GEORGE:** (muttering) Like I haven’t tried that before. My Bean Bag Empire collapsed faster than a DDOS attack.

*Elaine enters, looking excited.*

**ELAINE:** Guys! You won’t believe this. I just scored a reservation at that new sushi place downtown. It’s so exclusive, you need a password to get in.

**GEORGE:** (brightening) Exclusive? I can’t even get a reservation at my own house anymore. It’s like the server’s been DDOSed by my mother.

**ELAINE:** (looking puzzled) How does that even—

**KRAMER:** (bursts in) Hey, hey! What’s all this talk about servers? I’ve got a buddy who’s got a server farm in his basement. You need some protection from the trolls? He’s got the best firewall this side of Moscow.

**JERRY:** (squints) Moscow? Are you sure it’s not a front for something else?

**KRAMER:** (waves hand dismissively) Nah, he’s legit. Just keep your packets close and your latency closer.

**GEORGE:** (hopelessly) I’m never going to understand this. Why can’t people just play the game instead of sabotaging it?

**JERRY:** (shrugs) Well, George, in the digital age, everyone’s got to be a critic. It’s like being at a party where everyone’s trying to get on stage and perform.

**GEORGE:** (looking around) Great. So, I’m stuck at a party where everyone’s either crashing the server or performing poorly.

**ELAINE:** (laughs) Sounds about right.

**JERRY:** (smirking) Welcome to the new age, George. Where even your favorite pastime is being trolled by someone halfway around the world.

**KRAMER:** (enthusiastically) Just remember, if you need me, I’ll be at my buddy’s place. We’re setting up a counter-DDoS operation. You can’t go wrong with a good firewall and a lot of garlic.

**GEORGE:** (sighs) I’ll take a rain check on that. I’m going to try a new hobby—maybe interpretive dance.

**JERRY:** (raising eyebrow) Interpretive dance? Is that the new escape from trolls?

**GEORGE:** It’s either that or live under a rock. And I don’t like the idea of living with the bugs.

*The scene ends with the group laughing as Kramer starts performing an exaggerated dance move in the middle of the room.*

**FADE OUT.**
 
xBlastFTPastx

xBlastFTPastx

This one in the style of the show Friends:

**Title: "The One with the DDoS Drama"**

**INT. CENTRAL PERK – DAY**

*The whole gang is lounging on the couch. Joey is sitting on the armrest, furiously typing on his laptop. Monica and Rachel are chatting on the couch, while Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are on the other couch.*

**JOEY:** (frustrated) I don’t get it! My game was working just fine and now I keep getting kicked out. It’s like every time I’m about to get a high score, BAM! It’s like the game’s against me!

**CHANDLER:** (sarcastically) Maybe the game’s just really competitive. I hear Battlefield 4 doesn’t like losing to Joey Tribbiani.

**JOEY:** (ignoring Chandler) No, seriously. Look at this. (points at screen) Every time I try to reconnect, it’s like the server’s been taken over by aliens or something!

**ROSS:** (interested) Maybe it’s just a temporary glitch. The servers do go down from time to time.

**MONICA:** (leaning in) Or maybe you’ve been hacked. I read about this on a tech blog—some players get their games messed up by people who want to ruin the fun.

**RACHEL:** (teasing) So, someone’s out there with nothing better to do than stop Joey from playing his video games? I’m touched.

**PHOEBE:** (seriously) You know, it could be a cosmic sign that you need to connect with the real world, Joey.

**JOEY:** (glaring) This is the real world! And I need to win this match!

**CHANDLER:** (sighs) Okay, Joey. Let’s take a look. (sits down next to Joey) Show me what’s happening.

*Joey shifts so Chandler can see the screen. Chandler starts typing furiously.*

**CHANDLER:** (muttering) Alright, it’s definitely not just a glitch. This looks like a Distributed Denial of Service attack. Someone’s overwhelming your game server with too many requests.

**JOEY:** (confused) So…what does that mean?

**CHANDLER:** (looking at Joey) It means someone out there is being a major jerk and trying to crash your game.

**JOEY:** (angry) Who would do something like that?

**ROSS:** (thinking) Could be anyone with a grudge against online gamers. Or maybe someone who doesn’t want you to be the Battlefield champ.

**PHOEBE:** (excitedly) I read about something like this. You can get these little cyber-warrior hackers to fight back!

**RACHEL:** (amused) So, who’s our little cyber-warrior?

**CHANDLER:** (grinning) Well, I guess it’s me. (turns back to the laptop) I’ll try to trace the source and block the attack.

**JOEY:** (hopeful) Thanks, Chandler. You’re the best!

**MONICA:** (concerned) Be careful, Chandler. You don’t want to end up hacking the wrong thing.

**CHANDLER:** (joking) Don’t worry, Monica. I’m only hacking Joey’s game, not the Pentagon.

**JOEY:** (frantic) Please, just get it fixed! I’m about to lose my top spot!

**CHANDLER:** (focused) Okay, okay. I’ve got this. Just sit tight and keep calm.

*Chandler continues typing furiously, while the rest of the gang watches anxiously.*

**RACHEL:** (to Monica) What’s with the sudden interest in Joey’s gaming life?

**MONICA:** (smiling) He’s just so into it. It’s like his version of yoga.

**PHOEBE:** (giggling) Maybe he’ll come out of this with a zen-like calm… or he’ll just yell at the screen for hours.

**JOEY:** (finally) Wait… I think it’s working! Yes! I’m back in the game!

**CHANDLER:** (triumphantly) And just like that, the digital world is safe from trolls. For now.

**ROSS:** (mockingly) So, Joey, what’s your next plan? World domination through online gaming?

**JOEY:** (grinning) Maybe just a few more wins. But first, thanks, Chandler!

**CHANDLER:** (smiling) No problem. Just remember, next time you need saving from a digital disaster, you’ve got a go-to guy.

**PHOEBE:** (sighs) And the world is a little less chaotic… until the next crisis.

*The group laughs and settles back into their seats as Joey gets back into his game with renewed enthusiasm.*

**FADE OUT.**
 
Hoosiers

Hoosiers

-bZ-LongTrang1

-bZ-LongTrang1

-bZ- Member
Donator
PrZZZ said:
its not ''one guy'' doing this its many losers at the same time, just imagine ddos/hacking stuff putting in time and effort and not making a single dollard out of it lol its what i call pathetic idiots
Click to expand...

Next time EA is down go check this site https://downdetector.com/ to see who else is impacted.

Like right this second Minecraft is reporting issues and if you scroll down you'll see EA is getting spanked right now as well.
 
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