Last week I blew up your tank for no real reason and then shot you with the one that spawned in after you bailed from me trying to drive us outside the combat zone. It was wrong of me to target you like I did and i now feel terrible I let my anger get to me.
I was mad about the fact that you only join to use vehicles and were only using helicopters/ tanks to KD farm blueberries. After bombing your tank, you said I should kill myself and that seriously struck a nerve with me in the worst way. It's no excuse, that's just where my head was at.
I've played with you many time before and been in some of the lobbies where you get close if not pass 100 kills, and seen many a time how the lobby tends to treat you for farming them. I did it only because I wanted other people to have a chance at using vehicles because it tends to be the most fun part of the game and seeing you use it just to KD farm, something just set me off. I should not have done what I did and I'm sorry for potentially bringing down the numbers because I know it means a lot to you, more than most players. It was simply toxic for toxicity sake on my end and now I feel nothing but shameful for such pettiness. I've seriously been struggling with my mental health these past few months as I've been dealing with a death in the family amongst a plethora of other shit that's been bringing me down. Playing a game that can induce gamer rage was simply not the move so I'm sorry for taking out my anger on you. If anything its been a real wake up call that I cant let such small things get to me the way they have been. There's only so many servers left that host hardcore and its the only game mode I enjoy. It would actually affect me not being able to log on anymore. If I hadn't been temp banned, I probably would have made things worse for myself and gotten a perma ban doing god knows what. I've since calmed my nerves and intend to only try and better my ways. I only see now just how thin the ice has gotten for me and I would not like to drown.
Ive since been on the receiving end of being teamkilled/ targeted on another server for an accidental team kill and it made me see things from your perspective and well, I feel like a grade A asshole. You shouldn't be harassed for simply playing the game and I completely understand why you felt you needed to report me. There was a guy on tbg earlier just killing me over and over/ spawning on me just to shoot me and follow me around firing grenades at me/ ramming my tanks with jets etc. (this guy was even worse than me and I wouldn't be surprised if he's already banned on banzore) All for an accidental tk on op locker. I revived him but he shot me dead the second he was back up and then greifed me for two straight games. He really showed me just how annoying it is to be on the receiving end of such harassment. Its weirdly poetic how the tables have turned and made me want to put an apology out into the world. Even if you don't see this, just know I feel truly awful even if it was such a small encounter you probably already forgot about. I genuinely wish I could undo the tank bombing and trying to hold the tank just so you couldn't use it. I acted like a child, and got punished for it. More than just a temp ban too. The guy killing me was like God himself putting a mirror up to my face and saying "see how annoying it is?'.
May your future games be nothing but beneficial to your kd grind. I know you worked your ass off to get those numbers. If I ever see you in game again ill be sure to apologize directly but this is all I have for now.
all the best
- guns_and_butts
I was mad about the fact that you only join to use vehicles and were only using helicopters/ tanks to KD farm blueberries. After bombing your tank, you said I should kill myself and that seriously struck a nerve with me in the worst way. It's no excuse, that's just where my head was at.
I've played with you many time before and been in some of the lobbies where you get close if not pass 100 kills, and seen many a time how the lobby tends to treat you for farming them. I did it only because I wanted other people to have a chance at using vehicles because it tends to be the most fun part of the game and seeing you use it just to KD farm, something just set me off. I should not have done what I did and I'm sorry for potentially bringing down the numbers because I know it means a lot to you, more than most players. It was simply toxic for toxicity sake on my end and now I feel nothing but shameful for such pettiness. I've seriously been struggling with my mental health these past few months as I've been dealing with a death in the family amongst a plethora of other shit that's been bringing me down. Playing a game that can induce gamer rage was simply not the move so I'm sorry for taking out my anger on you. If anything its been a real wake up call that I cant let such small things get to me the way they have been. There's only so many servers left that host hardcore and its the only game mode I enjoy. It would actually affect me not being able to log on anymore. If I hadn't been temp banned, I probably would have made things worse for myself and gotten a perma ban doing god knows what. I've since calmed my nerves and intend to only try and better my ways. I only see now just how thin the ice has gotten for me and I would not like to drown.
Ive since been on the receiving end of being teamkilled/ targeted on another server for an accidental team kill and it made me see things from your perspective and well, I feel like a grade A asshole. You shouldn't be harassed for simply playing the game and I completely understand why you felt you needed to report me. There was a guy on tbg earlier just killing me over and over/ spawning on me just to shoot me and follow me around firing grenades at me/ ramming my tanks with jets etc. (this guy was even worse than me and I wouldn't be surprised if he's already banned on banzore) All for an accidental tk on op locker. I revived him but he shot me dead the second he was back up and then greifed me for two straight games. He really showed me just how annoying it is to be on the receiving end of such harassment. Its weirdly poetic how the tables have turned and made me want to put an apology out into the world. Even if you don't see this, just know I feel truly awful even if it was such a small encounter you probably already forgot about. I genuinely wish I could undo the tank bombing and trying to hold the tank just so you couldn't use it. I acted like a child, and got punished for it. More than just a temp ban too. The guy killing me was like God himself putting a mirror up to my face and saying "see how annoying it is?'.
May your future games be nothing but beneficial to your kd grind. I know you worked your ass off to get those numbers. If I ever see you in game again ill be sure to apologize directly but this is all I have for now.
all the best
- guns_and_butts
