Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!
Q: Whats long and hard and has cum in it?
A: a cucumber
Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!
Q: Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
A: They couldn't close his casket.
Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!
Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: a rip off Girl: "Hey, what's up?" Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?
A: They steal all the green cards.
Q: Why don't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Q: What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut?
A: Tug-of-whore.
Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!
Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frogs finger
Q: What's a porn star's favorite drink?
A: 7 Up in cider.
Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?
A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common?
A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns
Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys?
A: Steve Nash.
Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey?
A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A: Because their plugged into a genius!
Q: What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
A: Piccassole
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/dirtyonelinerjokes.html
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