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Why God never got a PhD

vetusvir

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-bZ- Member
Why God never got a PhD

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1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.

3. It has no references.

4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.

5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.

6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since

then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.

10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his

subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from

the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.

13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.

14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students

failed his tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
 

Skittles

-bZ- Member
People always say "God made you" or "God saved you" or whatever, as if the actions of men beyond his nascent creations Adam and Eve are the result of a God that's an omnipotent benefactor... I never got that. It's like an excuse to defer responsibility, and it's almost shameful when people do it about positive shit that takes willpower. "God made me sober/got me off drugs/whatever." 

So if someone were to look at it from the perspective of all things to have happened to mankind being the workings of a God, then they'd say that God created the concept of a Ph.D in the first place. And if one thought that people are responsible for their own actions, then it could be argued that a doctorate only applies to people and that God's actions aren't limited by the academic prerequisites that determine whether or not someone gets it. 

Really, it just boils down to the statement that a deity wouldn't be bound my the mores of its subjects. No shit, God doesn't have a doctorate.
 
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